That's for YOU, Leonard.
Late Facts: There are too many love songs. This would not be a bad thing, if they did not all sound the same. Take "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem. This is a love song. It is about refusing to let go of someone, admitting mistakes, but in a scary, almost psycho way. Which is interesting! Also, it feels more honest, like what two people might be like in such a situation (love turned sour) instead of the usual wailing. Cee-Lo Green also has an awesome anti-love song ("Fuck You") which I've mentioned before. But Eminem wins, because of the worst/best line ever: "Now you gotta watch her leave out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane/pain." That is fantastic. That line was divinely inspired.
Have you seen Christopher Walken perform a reading of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"? Then go watch it on Youtube. It makes me hope that Sean Connery will someday give a dramatic reading of "Love the Way You Lie".
Super Late Facts: Jeremy sent me the new Thor trailer and it looks awesome. But then I saw it was in 3d. It will also be in 2d, but I have never seen a good movie that had 3d as an option. The makers seem to believe the audience will be wowed by images seeming to fly out and almost touch them, so the movie is a series of painfully awkward and contrived circumstances for just such a thing to happen. But I have hope, because it's Thor.
December 17, 2010
November 28, 2010
Antiheroes are for Pussies
The links:
http://noblasters.com/post/1650102322/my-tsa-encounter
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101122/ap_on_bi_ge/us_airport_security
http://imgur.com/QklHc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XhnZlmLGK8
November 24, 2010
November 10, 2010
Fictioneering
Week two of Nanowrimo is okay. I am up to date on short stories (I have four done, including an extra for a contest). And I feel pretty good. This week's story was short (less than a thousand words) but that's probably for the best, as I am fixing my sleeping.
As I write, I notice things. And I thought, tonight I'll bring up two rules of fiction - specifically Sci-fi and Horror. Both are essentially the same rule, operating under different names, and the premise is the same: Keep an Open Mind.
The Sci-Fi rule (AKA the Jurassic Imperative)
Named for Crichton's Jurassic Park, it states: "If you own a multi-billion dollar dinosaur-themed park filled with deadly, extinct carnivores, DO. NOT. SCOFF. at the scientist who mentions the possibility of dinosaurs getting free and eating people. If you are inclined to immediately dismiss his claims as impossible, remember, cloning dinosaurs out of fossilized mosquitoes is also impossible."
The Horror rule (AKA Van Helsing's Law)
"If it looks, smells, and acts like a vampire, it's a vampire, no matter how many people declare vampires are impossible. Whittle stakes and stockpile crosses, and if someone calls you a crazy old man, take it as a compliment. At least you'll live to be an old man."
Both rules appear in their respective genres a lot, and both are violated almost instantly. It's become a cliche for someone to cry "Surely this cannot be!", as soon as they see a vampire/rampaging dinosaur/squid-shark hybrid. Forgiven, however, if Leslie Neilson shows up and says "It is! But don't call me Shirley."
Also, you should get "Superman: Earth One". It's good. I don't like Superman, but I like this. If you don't mind vague spoilers, it takes two assumptions about Superman and changes them. The assumptions are:
1) Superman wants to be Superman, and usually does. He came to Metropolis and started Supermanning immediately, because it was the right thing to do.
2) Krypton's death was an accident.
The first part of the book is the best, showing off a Kent who uses his powers as most people probably would - playing football and solving complex equations for money. Thankfully, this Superman is as strong mentally as physically, so the musclebound hee-roh, while still present, takes a backseat often enough for you to care about the character.
The book is like a nerd conversation put into print. Remember Kill Bill Vol. 2? Bill compares The Bride to Superman, as the everyday persona she put on after disappearing was her mask. In Earth One, Kent is the mask and Superman the real identity. Other topics - why the hell Krypton blew up, why Superman never has any decent enemies, why no one notices Superman and Kent are the same goddam person - are addressed, and while a few answers are given, the rest, along with Superman's future, are only hinted at. The art is good, the writing is good, and you should pick up Superman: Earth One or risk absolute destruction.
As I write, I notice things. And I thought, tonight I'll bring up two rules of fiction - specifically Sci-fi and Horror. Both are essentially the same rule, operating under different names, and the premise is the same: Keep an Open Mind.
The Sci-Fi rule (AKA the Jurassic Imperative)
Named for Crichton's Jurassic Park, it states: "If you own a multi-billion dollar dinosaur-themed park filled with deadly, extinct carnivores, DO. NOT. SCOFF. at the scientist who mentions the possibility of dinosaurs getting free and eating people. If you are inclined to immediately dismiss his claims as impossible, remember, cloning dinosaurs out of fossilized mosquitoes is also impossible."
The Horror rule (AKA Van Helsing's Law)
"If it looks, smells, and acts like a vampire, it's a vampire, no matter how many people declare vampires are impossible. Whittle stakes and stockpile crosses, and if someone calls you a crazy old man, take it as a compliment. At least you'll live to be an old man."
Both rules appear in their respective genres a lot, and both are violated almost instantly. It's become a cliche for someone to cry "Surely this cannot be!", as soon as they see a vampire/rampaging dinosaur/squid-shark hybrid. Forgiven, however, if Leslie Neilson shows up and says "It is! But don't call me Shirley."
Also, you should get "Superman: Earth One". It's good. I don't like Superman, but I like this. If you don't mind vague spoilers, it takes two assumptions about Superman and changes them. The assumptions are:
1) Superman wants to be Superman, and usually does. He came to Metropolis and started Supermanning immediately, because it was the right thing to do.
2) Krypton's death was an accident.
The first part of the book is the best, showing off a Kent who uses his powers as most people probably would - playing football and solving complex equations for money. Thankfully, this Superman is as strong mentally as physically, so the musclebound hee-roh, while still present, takes a backseat often enough for you to care about the character.
The book is like a nerd conversation put into print. Remember Kill Bill Vol. 2? Bill compares The Bride to Superman, as the everyday persona she put on after disappearing was her mask. In Earth One, Kent is the mask and Superman the real identity. Other topics - why the hell Krypton blew up, why Superman never has any decent enemies, why no one notices Superman and Kent are the same goddam person - are addressed, and while a few answers are given, the rest, along with Superman's future, are only hinted at. The art is good, the writing is good, and you should pick up Superman: Earth One or risk absolute destruction.
November 9, 2010
Bring Enough For the Class
I remembered an old movie I loved as a kid today. It was called "Rock-A-Doodle", and sadly Netflix does not have it (I endorse awesome cartoons). So let me tell you a bit about it.
Chanticleer is the titular rooster. His crows bring up the sun. When the sun comes up one day without him, he is discouraged and leaves, becoming an Elvis-like rockstar (oddly complete with drugs, sex, and too much ham).
BUT THEN.
The sun stops coming up and the real world is threatened. A kid turns into a mouse for some goddam reason, and sets out to get Chanticleer off his booze-addled ass and back on top of a barn to crow. An owl tries to stop him. This owl is behind the "no more sunlight" evil plot, which is slowly killing the mouse-child's parents.
It has a great ending too. The kid is kind of irritating (even when I was a kid I thought this) but that's what kids are. The real point of this is, please, tell me your favorite childhood movies. They can be popular or obscure, wholesome or "All Dogs go to Heaven". Name one that you liked when you were small, and if you want describe it a bit. Let me know what made it special.
Chanticleer is the titular rooster. His crows bring up the sun. When the sun comes up one day without him, he is discouraged and leaves, becoming an Elvis-like rockstar (oddly complete with drugs, sex, and too much ham).
BUT THEN.
The sun stops coming up and the real world is threatened. A kid turns into a mouse for some goddam reason, and sets out to get Chanticleer off his booze-addled ass and back on top of a barn to crow. An owl tries to stop him. This owl is behind the "no more sunlight" evil plot, which is slowly killing the mouse-child's parents.
It has a great ending too. The kid is kind of irritating (even when I was a kid I thought this) but that's what kids are. The real point of this is, please, tell me your favorite childhood movies. They can be popular or obscure, wholesome or "All Dogs go to Heaven". Name one that you liked when you were small, and if you want describe it a bit. Let me know what made it special.
November 6, 2010
The Game
Inspired by this: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veNQwzW8ays&feature=related), which I suggest not watching, as it features the Westboro Baptist Church (and an overabundance of crazy) I have an idea.
BEHOLD.
"Waiting..." is a movie, and a funny one. It's what Ryan Reynolds did before he was murdered and replaced by an evil twin that does shitty romantic comedies. So it's kinda like Jared (the Subway guy); except the fat man never played a game in which you show your dick to someone, in a variety of positions, and then get to deride them for being meatgazers.
Someone needs to play this game with the Westboro douches. Nail 'em with the brain, or, if you are skilled (Josue) the Goat. Then get a running start and kick them right in the taint.
BEHOLD.
"Waiting..." is a movie, and a funny one. It's what Ryan Reynolds did before he was murdered and replaced by an evil twin that does shitty romantic comedies. So it's kinda like Jared (the Subway guy); except the fat man never played a game in which you show your dick to someone, in a variety of positions, and then get to deride them for being meatgazers.
Someone needs to play this game with the Westboro douches. Nail 'em with the brain, or, if you are skilled (Josue) the Goat. Then get a running start and kick them right in the taint.
November 5, 2010
Hate Your Friends
Or don't.
The point is, there are people I hate. People I like. And people I love to hate.
I think everyone has some of the last. For many reasons, not the least of which is probably to feel superior to some fuckstick. Think Hitler. No one (sane) likes Hitler. He was a douche. Yet the movies and t.v. have a friends with benefits relationship with him. Because they know we love to hate him. Or, in a different way, Riddick, of Pitch Black and Chronicles. Not the monster Hitler was, he still acts in sociopath ways that we hate - but envy a little too. If you've ever been stuck behind a really bad driver, you know.
Literature is filled with characters we love to hate. Usually, my reaction is to dismiss these works as bad. That is only sometimes correct. Oldboy for instance, is a really fucked up movie. Like incest fucked up. We sympathize with the main character - until the end, where he pussies out. I get why he does. He wants to save his daughter. But he begs forgiveness from the villain for a slight he didn't even remember. Then cuts off his tongue.
To top it off, he asks the hypno-bitch who made him fall in love with his daughter to put the whammy on him again so he can live something resembling a happy life. And then doesn't stab her. Seldom has there been a more stab worthy person.
True Grit has another character. Mattie Ross sets out to avenge her father's death by hiring marshall Rooster Cogburn. I got interested after seeing the Coen bros. remake, starring the Dude. How could that not be awesome? I asked.
I don't know about their movie, but Mattie Ross of the book is a complete bitch. Self-righteous, an old maid banker type who sees no fault of her own throughout the book, and comes across less and less as human. The movie does better, but I still hate her in it. It's not hard to hate someone who gets abducted by bandits after insisting on accompanying the marshall, and asks "Why am I being treated like this?" of her captors.
It's also hard to not believe the character, which makes it a good book in my mind. Not one I want to read again - I have enough stress without fictional characters I don't like adding to it - but good and worth a read at least once. Same goes for Oldboy. Watch it if you can stomach it.
So go, ye folk, and read something or watch something with a character who pisses you off - but you believe in. And try to sympathize. Then, when someone you like pisses you off, maybe you'll find getting along easier.*
*Morals not meant to be taken seriously. This is the last place you should look to for guidance of any kind.
Late (maybe early?) Facts: Serenity/Firefly is the only show I know of in which all of the main characters (everyone on the ship) are sexy as hell. Possible exception to the Tams, as Simon is a twat, and River might rip your penis off (pre-Serenity).
The point is, there are people I hate. People I like. And people I love to hate.
I think everyone has some of the last. For many reasons, not the least of which is probably to feel superior to some fuckstick. Think Hitler. No one (sane) likes Hitler. He was a douche. Yet the movies and t.v. have a friends with benefits relationship with him. Because they know we love to hate him. Or, in a different way, Riddick, of Pitch Black and Chronicles. Not the monster Hitler was, he still acts in sociopath ways that we hate - but envy a little too. If you've ever been stuck behind a really bad driver, you know.
Literature is filled with characters we love to hate. Usually, my reaction is to dismiss these works as bad. That is only sometimes correct. Oldboy for instance, is a really fucked up movie. Like incest fucked up. We sympathize with the main character - until the end, where he pussies out. I get why he does. He wants to save his daughter. But he begs forgiveness from the villain for a slight he didn't even remember. Then cuts off his tongue.
To top it off, he asks the hypno-bitch who made him fall in love with his daughter to put the whammy on him again so he can live something resembling a happy life. And then doesn't stab her. Seldom has there been a more stab worthy person.
True Grit has another character. Mattie Ross sets out to avenge her father's death by hiring marshall Rooster Cogburn. I got interested after seeing the Coen bros. remake, starring the Dude. How could that not be awesome? I asked.
I don't know about their movie, but Mattie Ross of the book is a complete bitch. Self-righteous, an old maid banker type who sees no fault of her own throughout the book, and comes across less and less as human. The movie does better, but I still hate her in it. It's not hard to hate someone who gets abducted by bandits after insisting on accompanying the marshall, and asks "Why am I being treated like this?" of her captors.
It's also hard to not believe the character, which makes it a good book in my mind. Not one I want to read again - I have enough stress without fictional characters I don't like adding to it - but good and worth a read at least once. Same goes for Oldboy. Watch it if you can stomach it.
So go, ye folk, and read something or watch something with a character who pisses you off - but you believe in. And try to sympathize. Then, when someone you like pisses you off, maybe you'll find getting along easier.*
*Morals not meant to be taken seriously. This is the last place you should look to for guidance of any kind.
Late (maybe early?) Facts: Serenity/Firefly is the only show I know of in which all of the main characters (everyone on the ship) are sexy as hell. Possible exception to the Tams, as Simon is a twat, and River might rip your penis off (pre-Serenity).
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