Are you the devil?

Early impressions of Amanda Hocking, the 26 yr-old independent author who made a shitload of money.

There's this line, from her book:
"Most likely, he was a damn sociopath,and for whatever reason, I found that endearing."
Which strikes me as retarded, lending credence to the reports that she's just writing Twilight-esque bullshit. Less paranormal romance; more paranormal bromance!

But there's this, from her blog:
"Platypi lactate and have venom."
Which strikes me as profound, and funny.
More to report as I delve deeper into madness.

Late Facts: If you don't know why the book line is dumb, consider A) way too many commas. She must have a hardon for 'em, which may not make sense. And B) sociopaths are neither diagnosed by teenagers, nor endearing. Unless you find Ted Bundy endearing (though judging by the success of Dexter, you might). 

The Constitution, by Ben Franklin

"Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of whores."

Washington: "Eh, Ben, it's... good. I don't want you to think I think it's bad.
Ben: Of COURSE it's not bad. What's wrong?"
W: Well, it's just this "pursuit" line. It's creepin', you know? You get me, Ben? It's too... Jack Ripper-y.
B: Umm... hmmm. But it's true. That's what we're founding on.
W: Well yeah, but maybe spruce it up, make it look real official. This isn't going in your goddam Almanac. This is big leagues.
B: What the hell does that mean?
W: Nothing, nothing. I love it. Gave me the best tomatoes I've ever had. Bastards're the size of my fists.
B: Goddam right.
W: But whattabout... "Happiness"? Yeah, I like it. "Pursuit of happiness", sounds real classy. And it means the same thing.
B: What about future generations?
W: What kind of fucked up future generations are we talking about? What well adjusted person wouldn't include whoring in their definition of happiness?

*I don't think this is part of the Constitution. It's probably the Declaration. I'd look it up, but this is a blog. Research is against my TOS. Plus, Futurama.

The Most Epic Thing

Sorry for the no updates. Unlikely to change. Meanwhile, may this tide you over.

Woody Harrelson's Firm Buttocks .

That's for YOU, Leonard.
Late Facts: There are too many love songs. This would not be a bad thing, if they did not all sound the same. Take "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem. This is a love song. It is about refusing to let go of someone, admitting mistakes, but in a scary, almost psycho way. Which is interesting! Also, it feels more honest, like what two people might be like in such a situation (love turned sour) instead of the usual wailing. Cee-Lo Green also has an awesome anti-love song ("Fuck You") which I've mentioned before. But Eminem wins, because of the worst/best line ever: "Now you gotta watch her leave out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane/pain." That is fantastic. That line was divinely inspired.
Have you seen Christopher Walken perform a reading of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"? Then go watch it on Youtube. It makes me hope that Sean Connery will someday give a dramatic reading of "Love the Way You Lie".

Super Late Facts: Jeremy sent me the new Thor trailer and it looks awesome. But then I saw it was in 3d. It will also be in 2d, but I have never seen a good movie that had 3d as an option. The makers seem to believe the audience will be wowed by images seeming to fly out and almost touch them, so the movie is a series of painfully awkward and contrived circumstances for just such a thing to happen. But I have hope, because it's Thor.

Antiheroes are for Pussies

The links:
http://noblasters.com/post/1650102322/my-tsa-encounter
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101122/ap_on_bi_ge/us_airport_security
http://imgur.com/QklHc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XhnZlmLGK8

Fuck You

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Fictioneering

Week two of Nanowrimo is okay. I am up to date on short stories (I have four done, including an extra for a contest). And I feel pretty good. This week's story was short (less than a thousand words) but that's probably for the best, as I am fixing my sleeping.
As I write, I notice things. And I thought, tonight I'll bring up two rules of fiction - specifically Sci-fi and Horror. Both are essentially the same rule, operating under different names, and the premise is the same: Keep an Open Mind.
The Sci-Fi rule (AKA the Jurassic Imperative)
Named for Crichton's Jurassic Park, it states: "If you own a multi-billion dollar dinosaur-themed park filled with deadly, extinct carnivores, DO. NOT. SCOFF. at the scientist who mentions the possibility of dinosaurs getting free and eating people. If you are inclined to immediately dismiss his claims as impossible, remember, cloning dinosaurs out of fossilized mosquitoes is also impossible."
The Horror rule (AKA Van Helsing's Law)
"If it looks, smells, and acts like a vampire, it's a vampire, no matter how many people declare vampires are impossible. Whittle stakes and stockpile crosses, and if someone calls you a crazy old man, take it as a compliment. At least you'll live to be an old man."
Both rules appear in their respective genres a lot, and both are violated almost instantly. It's become a cliche for someone to cry "Surely this cannot be!", as soon as they see a vampire/rampaging dinosaur/squid-shark hybrid. Forgiven, however, if Leslie Neilson shows up and says "It is! But don't call me Shirley."
Also, you should get "Superman: Earth One". It's good. I don't like Superman, but I like this. If you don't mind vague spoilers, it takes two assumptions about Superman and changes them. The assumptions are:
1) Superman wants to be Superman, and usually does. He came to Metropolis and started Supermanning  immediately, because it was the right thing to do.
2) Krypton's death was an accident.
The first part of the book is the best, showing off a Kent who uses his powers as most people probably would - playing football and solving complex equations for money. Thankfully, this Superman is as strong mentally as physically, so the musclebound hee-roh, while still present, takes a backseat often enough for you to care about the character.
The book is like a nerd conversation put into print. Remember Kill Bill Vol. 2? Bill compares The Bride to Superman, as the everyday persona she put on after disappearing was her mask. In Earth One, Kent is the mask and Superman the real identity. Other topics - why the hell Krypton blew up, why Superman never has any decent enemies, why no one notices Superman and Kent are the same goddam person - are addressed, and while a few answers are given, the rest, along with Superman's future, are only hinted at. The art is good, the writing is good, and you should pick up Superman: Earth One or risk absolute destruction.