December 4, 2009

Not Today, Satan!

I talk about evil tonight, and lay out the first two Imperial Decrees for the Citizens of Ohio.

I want to clarify a few things in the post that I talk about in the podcast. First, let me say sorry for rushing this one through and not spiffing it up as much as I should have; but also, let me say bowling rocks, and that was what I was doing instead of my work. I'm sure my fellow Dudeists will agree that, given the calming effects of bowling and drinking, I made the right choice. And I can abide by that.

The first Decree is about Twilight, and it is: Twilight, the novel and series of novels after it, is not, never has been, and shall not in the future be considered a work of fiction regarding Vampires. It is a teen drama/romance, following in the steps of Dawson's Creek, and other WB shows. Vampire nerds can be relieved, and tweens can go about their angsty business, with no further unpleasantness.

Secondly, about gay marriage. This is the more confusing bit, I think, so, for clarity, gay marriage is now legal and totally cool in the Empire of Ohio. I ranted for a while about it in the podcast, and still am not sure the whole point was made, so:

1.Politics and the Bible do not mix. Do not try to mix them, particularly if you call upon the Older parts of the Bible. It was written for an ancient civilization, and aside from a few moral imperatives, does not apply to modern day life. The philosophic lessons in it may still be studied and used, but don't think that, because said civilization needed an army and a steady economy to conquer and flourish, homosexuality still exists under the same ban.
2.If the religious argument is your main weapon, your argument doesn't work.
3.If, after exhausting the religious, you turn to false studies and corrupt data, you are no longer allowed to talk.
4.Gays are now allowed to kick the straights exactly ONCE, in the ass, and call them meatgazers.

That's it. I hope to see a lot more marriages over the weekend, and if anyone gives you shit, remind them of the Empire's decision. Have a good weekend!

Late facts: I'm running out of space fast online to store these podcasts. As is, I can put three more up. Any suggestions on free storage space, or other ways to keep putting them up, would be hella appreciated. And sodomy is the word of the day.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Will! It's me, Janice :D I just subscribed and am following. You = hilarious. Love you!