March 18, 2011

The Constitution, by Ben Franklin

"Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of whores."

Washington: "Eh, Ben, it's... good. I don't want you to think I think it's bad.
Ben: Of COURSE it's not bad. What's wrong?"
W: Well, it's just this "pursuit" line. It's creepin', you know? You get me, Ben? It's too... Jack Ripper-y.
B: Umm... hmmm. But it's true. That's what we're founding on.
W: Well yeah, but maybe spruce it up, make it look real official. This isn't going in your goddam Almanac. This is big leagues.
B: What the hell does that mean?
W: Nothing, nothing. I love it. Gave me the best tomatoes I've ever had. Bastards're the size of my fists.
B: Goddam right.
W: But whattabout... "Happiness"? Yeah, I like it. "Pursuit of happiness", sounds real classy. And it means the same thing.
B: What about future generations?
W: What kind of fucked up future generations are we talking about? What well adjusted person wouldn't include whoring in their definition of happiness?

*I don't think this is part of the Constitution. It's probably the Declaration. I'd look it up, but this is a blog. Research is against my TOS. Plus, Futurama.

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