June 16, 2012

Pay no attention to the bear behind the curtain

I changed jobs (sort of), and recording the podcast has changed. I'm trying to make it more streamlined, so I can say "I need this-this, that, done," rather than thinking up sixty things for the News, and no rants. Meanwhile, actually doing the podcast suffers a bit. I've set it up so I record the whole thing Wednesdays, but I'm still getting used to this schedule, so if my brain forgets and decides to dick around all day, nothing gets done. I'll have a story up later today, and podcastin' will resume next week, and in the meantime I wanted to talk to you about something important.


Superman has bugged me for a while. Batman knows all kinds of crazy bullshit ways to take down thugs. He can freeze 'em, gas 'em, karate-murder them or hit them with his car.
Superman can punch. He can't even punch well. All he has are haymakers, and he treats every enemy like a clumsy fat guy who can't help but wander into Superman's awkward thrusts. Worse, he's basically god and he has no experience being such; God, at least, knew how to make the cosmos before he started messing with the Jews. Which is, to be fair, kind of like applying to be a kindergarten teacher when your only experience is programming, but at least he had some experience. Superman knows how to farm. He can only stop crime that is right in front of him, because he never took Batman's Patented Detective Course. He probably murders half the purse-snatchers he stops, because he has the power of the sun and no concept of control. At least if he'd signed up for the Y karate class he might've learned not to put his fist through other people's chests.

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