October 10, 2012

B===D--- A new love story by Shakespeare

My own particular bullshit

A friend recently posted a note that he is dissatisfied with the current political state, and (perhaps jokingly) suggested he would run for president when he is eligible. I know and like this guy (to prerequisites for being friends) and I've thought along similar lines. Why, if America is in such dire straits that we can't get a budget passed without a political showdown, should I not throw my hat in the ring and magically make it all better?

I think this is like the idea people get in their heads when they can make their buddies laugh - "I should go into comedy". "I can talk about politics - maybe I should run for office." And with as much shit as I'll talk about both parties, maybe I should insert money where I've previously only put my mouth.

Hmmm. I guess that homoerotic innuendo fits. Anyone who talks such has tasted at least the tip of the glorious, glittery cock of corporate media politics. And that's the problem. If I went in, as I am now, putting aside the ludicrously low chance of winning (and complete lack of knowledge of how to win) I'd be like a liberal Tea Party. And that's not helpful (the motto of this podcast is, of course, "Fuck it and fuck you").

And if I could put aside my anger and recalcitrance, I'd at best end up like any other politician. I don't like the anti-gay-marriage laws in place, but they're coming down, albeit slowly. That, apparently, is how things work in a democracy. The people support the bad laws their representatives create, until they don't, and then the laws are overturned. As tempting as it would be to try and "fix" everything, even if it were possible (and it's not) it wouldn't be the will of the people. You can't make people be good or kind. At best, you can try to keep them from getting worse.

And that's assuming I didn't become corrupt. I know myself moderately well, and I, like many others, see myself as the hero, never the villain. It's usually not until after the fuck up that I realize I was a real douchetard. And even that level of introspection doesn't fly in politics. You've got to be right, someone else has to be wrong, or you won't stand a chance. And if you can't get elected, not only will your brilliant vision not come to pass, but some bastard's horrible plan will be implemented. So tell a little lie. Exaggerate a bit. It's all for the greater good (and hey, you can make a few bucks off of it).

This, then, is my own particular brand of bullshit; Famous Anus, of course. For all your baking needs.


Of course, I do think some of my friends are suited for helping run the country well. Here's a prototype campaign poster I thunk up:

He keeps his campaign promises.

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