B===D--- A new love story by Shakespeare

My own particular bullshit

A friend recently posted a note that he is dissatisfied with the current political state, and (perhaps jokingly) suggested he would run for president when he is eligible. I know and like this guy (to prerequisites for being friends) and I've thought along similar lines. Why, if America is in such dire straits that we can't get a budget passed without a political showdown, should I not throw my hat in the ring and magically make it all better?

I think this is like the idea people get in their heads when they can make their buddies laugh - "I should go into comedy". "I can talk about politics - maybe I should run for office." And with as much shit as I'll talk about both parties, maybe I should insert money where I've previously only put my mouth.

Hmmm. I guess that homoerotic innuendo fits. Anyone who talks such has tasted at least the tip of the glorious, glittery cock of corporate media politics. And that's the problem. If I went in, as I am now, putting aside the ludicrously low chance of winning (and complete lack of knowledge of how to win) I'd be like a liberal Tea Party. And that's not helpful (the motto of this podcast is, of course, "Fuck it and fuck you").

And if I could put aside my anger and recalcitrance, I'd at best end up like any other politician. I don't like the anti-gay-marriage laws in place, but they're coming down, albeit slowly. That, apparently, is how things work in a democracy. The people support the bad laws their representatives create, until they don't, and then the laws are overturned. As tempting as it would be to try and "fix" everything, even if it were possible (and it's not) it wouldn't be the will of the people. You can't make people be good or kind. At best, you can try to keep them from getting worse.

And that's assuming I didn't become corrupt. I know myself moderately well, and I, like many others, see myself as the hero, never the villain. It's usually not until after the fuck up that I realize I was a real douchetard. And even that level of introspection doesn't fly in politics. You've got to be right, someone else has to be wrong, or you won't stand a chance. And if you can't get elected, not only will your brilliant vision not come to pass, but some bastard's horrible plan will be implemented. So tell a little lie. Exaggerate a bit. It's all for the greater good (and hey, you can make a few bucks off of it).

This, then, is my own particular brand of bullshit; Famous Anus, of course. For all your baking needs.

Update:

Of course, I do think some of my friends are suited for helping run the country well. Here's a prototype campaign poster I thunk up:

He keeps his campaign promises.

I'll Devito Your Schwarzenegger

So when I said, last week, that we are overconcerned with image, this is what I meant: that we won't go into Syria, that we won't try to do anything with Syria, because there's no reason for us to. What we will do is feign concern because that is the image we want to project, the story we want told; we are big daddy democracy and we want what's best for everyone. When someone like Manning or the pissing troops disrupt that, people get upset. And situations like the marine being demoted for killing innocents require very special image manipulation.



If you enjoy this podcast you should do several things. The first is listen to Writing Excuses available on Itunes. It's interesting and funny and talks about fiction in the same sort of way I do, only those podcast-ers are much smarter. The most interesting episode I've listened to is "The Hollywood Formula" (it's fairly recent) and it has a cool discussion of protagonists and antagonists in relation to the Dark Knight. I don't agree with their conclusion, but it's interesting as hell nonetheless.
Also, you should follow this blog, and recommend it to folks you think might like it.

Do Not Eyeball the Bear

We have established stories/narratives. The invasion of Iraq. Often these stories are used to reach an end the people in power already know and want. We are seeing that now with the mounting pressure to “do something” about Iran. It is a dangerous place! We hear. They want nuclear weapons. Nevermind that America, Russia, and China already have nuclear weapons. Nevermind that during the Cold War we came again and again to the brink of destroying ourselves. That’s not the story.
The story is that Iran is a bad place run by bad people and nuclear weapons are bad things so we have to stop them. We do - the good guys. And anyone who says otherwise is, clearly, a bad guy. Which is where I bring up: the Senate voted to allow executive power to indefinitely detain American citizens. They did this because “we are at war” and when at war sometimes hard things must be done. You have to fight the bad guys.
The bad guys, however, are American citizens. You and I. The established story here is that Iran is a bad guy, and people who don’t want to invade Iran might be bad guys, because terrorists are bad guys, and maybe this isn’t all connected but it probably is with a big capital-e Evil. Got that? That’s the story. Now I’m going to talk about movies.
Kill Bill is the traditional revenge movie. The Bride goes on a rampage of revenge, and in the end succeeds. She at times seems just as bad as the people she’s after - she was one of them, until recently - but she turned her back on it, and is killing bad guys, so she’s a good guy. The Bride is how we see ourselves. Maybe not great - certainly not saintly - but on the side of the righteous.
We are actually closer to the plot of Old Boy. And we’re not Oh Dae-su, either (he’s the guy taking revenge for being kidnapped and held captive for what, ten years? A long ass time). We’re the captor. In Old Boy, Oh Dae-su is released after a lengthy captivity, and seeks revenge. He hurts a lot of people. He finds his captor. And he discovers why the captor did this to him. Sorry for calling him the captor, I looked it up on Imdb, but I can’t tell which was the bad guy (I am awful with names).
The bad guy did all this to Dae-su because, when both were young, Dae-su saw the bad guy fucking his own sister, and told his friend - not out of malice, but in an offhand way. He didn't see the bad guy (then just the sister-fucking guy) again, because Dae-su moved away. The sister killed herself. The bad guy dedicated himself to revenge. This is a disruption of an established story. It’s why the movie initially upset me so much. I expected an established story of revenge, and I got a disrupted story. Think of America in this context with Iran and Iraq. Recently there was a survey that discovered most Iraqis and Afghanis did not know why America was there. They did not know what 9/11 was. Our apparent revenge meant as much to them as the bad guy’s did to Dae-su - taken for a slight that Dae-su (representing the Iraqis, Afghanis, and hopefully not the Iranians) did not remember. The bad guy took revenge for something the hero didn’t actually remember. The whole goddam movie is about him trying to find the reason for his suffering.
This, as I said, is a disrupted story. It’s an uncomfortable story (with a lot of incest, besides). Disrupting an established story can feel akin to killing god. We know our stories, we like them. But after so many years at war, after the financial collapse, many people do not accept the established story. They don’t accept that we must go to war with Iran; nor that the “boom and bust” cycle of capitalism is the best thing for America. And that so many don’t accept the established story tastes bitter to those who do accept it. It's the comfort of the established story against the change of the disrupted story.
I don’t want to pull self-righteous bullshit here. I am often wrong. I may be wrong about the threat Iran poses, or about the financial reform I’d like to see. But I look. I examine the stories I hold near and dear, even about myself. Because you can’t move past the limits imposed by the established story, until you tear it down, disrupt it, and see the larger story - possibly the real story, possibly just another well-entrenched story that must be torn down in turn - until you are willing to destroy the things you believe, with no doubt, to be true.

The Civil War link: (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/02/why-do-so-few-blacks-study-the-civil-war/8831/)

Insane laughter is not optional

The mad science link: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/worlds-biggest-telescope-will-see-deep-into-the-past-1756187.html


This'uns for Jeremah:

Just imagine Boehner, but with boobies

Note: the quality of this recording is of even higher quality than usual. Because I remembered how to turn up the volume on my speaking portions. Also, I haven't listened to it yet (don't believe in that fancy quality control).
I talk about a lot of stuff, and I wanted to talk about even more. I cut it short (or as short as I am capable of) however.



I did want to elaborate, if I may, on the victimized politicians. It bugs me that they cry to get their way, like spoiled children. It bugs me that there seems to be less and less thought in legislation, and more and more "what can I get out of it?" attitudes. Here's the thing that bugs me most: according to Fox News, about half of Americans don't pay any taxes. That's po' folks for ya. Half of Americans. Now I'm not a doctor, but that is a pretty big number. Gosh-darn big. And whether it's factual or not, there are a lot of poor folks in America. More than there are rich. The reason you see rich folks getting their way is because of money. Money talks, said the cliche. What talks louder than money, or should, in a Democracy? Shitloads of people. So if you really want to be heard, to get the things you want, you need to be loud. You need to be kind of a dick. When Mitt Romney claims corporations are people, you tell him to shut his whore mouth. Because he's not saying it for you - he's saying it for the people who subsidize his campaign, the people who will own his left nut should he get into the White House. Obama has done this as well, trying to deliver on a few of his promises while refusing to turn down the money.So why do they get to cry and claim it's for the average American? According to their actions, they despise the average American. It's time to start talking, half of America. It's time to stop taking the bullshit, and at least trying to be louder.

Late Facts: The Firefly episode I bring up, with "Mrs. Reynolds" playing the victim? I forgot to mention she tries to murder everyone on the ship. Kinda important plot point.