October 10, 2012
I think I is broken
I've talked before about vidyergeeme morals and such, but I think I'm broken now. Spec Ops: the Line started my descent and now Dishonored has destroyed my ability to indiscriminately murder.
It's tough to rationalize.
In Bioshock you have to kill a fuckload of people, but it's cool, they're junkies. They attack you. The choices made are between being a cock and not being a cock (which doesn't actually make you a good person). This is true for most games: the player is thrust into a situation which requires a healthy pile of bodies to surmount.
Spec Ops is the same way, but it asserts that, because you, the player, chose to play the game at all you are fundamentally flawed as a human being. The protagonists have no choice but to follow player commands and the story, but the person behind them loaded that shit up. The story reflects this, as every decision to move forward, to pursue the mission, is met with harsher consequences. You are punished for playing the thing the developers made for you to play, and you deserve it.
Dishonored takes it a step further, or perhaps simply reinforces the terrible feeling I have from killing nameless minions. It's a stealth game, but it doesn't have to be. You can gleefully murder your way through everyday people doing their jobs. They stand in your way, but, as with Spec Ops, the decision to confront them this way makes you awful. I can't play without wandering who I've widowed (something the guards specifically mention), and early on the Outsider gives you a fucking heart that tells you secrets about people. That guy? He wanted to open a gift shop. She makes ten cents an hour and is paying off her father's debts. You're a monster.
There are videogames that don't require you to harm anyone, but they're typically kid games. Violence is a part of the medium, same as with books and movies. What's interesting (and the reason I feel like a bastard) is that you don't feel responsible when Gimli or Legolas decapitate an orc, when Dorothy smooshes the Wicked Witch (or goddam melts her sister). But in a videogame, regardless of what the story requires, the player makes more decisions in the narrative, even if the only decision is to play the character.
It's tough to rationalize.
In Bioshock you have to kill a fuckload of people, but it's cool, they're junkies. They attack you. The choices made are between being a cock and not being a cock (which doesn't actually make you a good person). This is true for most games: the player is thrust into a situation which requires a healthy pile of bodies to surmount.
Spec Ops is the same way, but it asserts that, because you, the player, chose to play the game at all you are fundamentally flawed as a human being. The protagonists have no choice but to follow player commands and the story, but the person behind them loaded that shit up. The story reflects this, as every decision to move forward, to pursue the mission, is met with harsher consequences. You are punished for playing the thing the developers made for you to play, and you deserve it.
Dishonored takes it a step further, or perhaps simply reinforces the terrible feeling I have from killing nameless minions. It's a stealth game, but it doesn't have to be. You can gleefully murder your way through everyday people doing their jobs. They stand in your way, but, as with Spec Ops, the decision to confront them this way makes you awful. I can't play without wandering who I've widowed (something the guards specifically mention), and early on the Outsider gives you a fucking heart that tells you secrets about people. That guy? He wanted to open a gift shop. She makes ten cents an hour and is paying off her father's debts. You're a monster.
There are videogames that don't require you to harm anyone, but they're typically kid games. Violence is a part of the medium, same as with books and movies. What's interesting (and the reason I feel like a bastard) is that you don't feel responsible when Gimli or Legolas decapitate an orc, when Dorothy smooshes the Wicked Witch (or goddam melts her sister). But in a videogame, regardless of what the story requires, the player makes more decisions in the narrative, even if the only decision is to play the character.
September 17, 2012
Heroin, Frank
I Recently bought FTL, and I
really like the writing. Each small encounter has the potential to
benefit or destroy you. Choosing to help a civilian ship caught in an asteroid field (Star Wars style) could get you free stuff, repairs, even new crew (something you desperately need). It could also get you nothing, or damage (or destroyed!). Every encounter becomes important, and the writing gives you enough information to fill in the blanks, without making it a huge deal. You feel good for rescuing those chumps. You are dismayed when your ship blows up. Both of these things happen all the time.
And I'd like to see it in another game. A Naked Gun game set in the movie series universe starring Leslie Nielsen. The plots and characters were ridiculous, funny, and over-the-top. Kind of like GTA, except fewer hooker murders.
Which brings me to my second point. In the game, you could play in a GTA-style city, with L.A. Noire-like dialogue choices and side missions. You can go anywhere and do anything. Sometimes the radio directs you to a crime, or you catch 'em as they happen. Apprehending a speeder turns into a cross-city chase on a horse, until the perp accidentally drives into the ocean. The plot is not one, but many - dozens of big businessmen, all of whom are villains at some point (for different reasons). The queen of England comes to town. Shakespeare in the Park. You can investigate or ignore them as you wish, and good or bad things happen according to your choices. And Frank Drebin, the main character, can't figure out clues or solve crimes without player dialogue choices.
I really want this game to be real.
And I'd like to see it in another game. A Naked Gun game set in the movie series universe starring Leslie Nielsen. The plots and characters were ridiculous, funny, and over-the-top. Kind of like GTA, except fewer hooker murders.
Which brings me to my second point. In the game, you could play in a GTA-style city, with L.A. Noire-like dialogue choices and side missions. You can go anywhere and do anything. Sometimes the radio directs you to a crime, or you catch 'em as they happen. Apprehending a speeder turns into a cross-city chase on a horse, until the perp accidentally drives into the ocean. The plot is not one, but many - dozens of big businessmen, all of whom are villains at some point (for different reasons). The queen of England comes to town. Shakespeare in the Park. You can investigate or ignore them as you wish, and good or bad things happen according to your choices. And Frank Drebin, the main character, can't figure out clues or solve crimes without player dialogue choices.
I really want this game to be real.
September 5, 2012
A solution to all problems
Attack.
I don't mean knock motherfuckers out on the street. Those are just random people, and as such, their terrible behavior isn't your problem. The best thing you can do for yourself when someone you don't know pisses you off is to remember they are completely inconsequential to your life. You are the Sun God, giver and destroyer (a healthy shot of ego is necessary), and you don't care for the puny travails and pathetic squabbles of Senor Blue Suit or Captain Cockdouche. Even your hate is wasted on them.
No, the problem is with the people you know and love. And, as with all things, the solution lies in Fight Club. When Edward Norton couldn't stand being an Ikea Neo-Nazi anymore (fashionable but racist), he beat the shit out of himself. Wait: put down the chair and torch. The answer isn't a dread march on your buddy's castle.
I have a friend named Carl, and like many Carls, he can get real uppity. When it got too much, I attacked. Like a wolf in the night, or a fat man crouched in a darkened hallway, I leaped upon his back and bore him to the floor. I will never forget the screaming, but more importantly, neither will he.
Reason is for suckers.
New Feature:
THE CULT OF YOUTUBE-SOGGOTH
(nsfw)
I don't mean knock motherfuckers out on the street. Those are just random people, and as such, their terrible behavior isn't your problem. The best thing you can do for yourself when someone you don't know pisses you off is to remember they are completely inconsequential to your life. You are the Sun God, giver and destroyer (a healthy shot of ego is necessary), and you don't care for the puny travails and pathetic squabbles of Senor Blue Suit or Captain Cockdouche. Even your hate is wasted on them.
No, the problem is with the people you know and love. And, as with all things, the solution lies in Fight Club. When Edward Norton couldn't stand being an Ikea Neo-Nazi anymore (fashionable but racist), he beat the shit out of himself. Wait: put down the chair and torch. The answer isn't a dread march on your buddy's castle.
I have a friend named Carl, and like many Carls, he can get real uppity. When it got too much, I attacked. Like a wolf in the night, or a fat man crouched in a darkened hallway, I leaped upon his back and bore him to the floor. I will never forget the screaming, but more importantly, neither will he.
Reason is for suckers.
New Feature:
THE CULT OF YOUTUBE-SOGGOTH
(nsfw)
August 23, 2012
August 18, 2012
Small Things
So this is kinda awful:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19297373
We have a dramatization of the trial and sentencing.
But in good news:
http://www.privacysos.org/2012/august/pushing_back
Remember that in a democracy the people hold the power. Your elected representatives are not untouchable gods dispensing wisdom and law from on high. You can talk, persuade, and even not fucking vote for them if they screw up. If you don't believe that they are as human as I, or think they have a get-out-of-responsibility-free card just imagine Lindsey Graham masturbating, and then don't do that, ever, Jesus God I wish I hadn't thought of it.
Still, it makes my point.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19297373
We have a dramatization of the trial and sentencing.
But in good news:
http://www.privacysos.org/2012/august/pushing_back
Remember that in a democracy the people hold the power. Your elected representatives are not untouchable gods dispensing wisdom and law from on high. You can talk, persuade, and even not fucking vote for them if they screw up. If you don't believe that they are as human as I, or think they have a get-out-of-responsibility-free card just imagine Lindsey Graham masturbating, and then don't do that, ever, Jesus God I wish I hadn't thought of it.
Still, it makes my point.
August 16, 2012
Sometimes there is no winning
Late Facts: I do not know what a German accent sounds like.
Links!
Gay bar- I was right!
http://www.jpost.com/LandedPages/PrintArticle.aspx?id=281139
Tangerine...- The scene still carries the same emotional weight.
Ladies - I'm pretty sure there's no hope for Eal or myself. NSFW.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNHb3lZobt0 - Definitely not.
http://www.triplepundit.com/2012/08/costco-genuine-retail-csr-leader/ - A genuinely good boss, or Jesus trying to screw with me after I've worked so many minimum wage jobs?
There's no reason for you to read either of these:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/life/zoology/birds/ostrich-meat.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albatross
I'm just kinda on a bird kick.
August 8, 2012
Good news, everyone!
Jen and Phil are getting married! And Jen has asked for ideas (on Facebook). In my neverending quest to destroy... everything, I guess, I present Things to make your awesome wedding even awesomer.
Rings are overrated. I said it, and I'll say it again, goddammit. Just ask J.R.R. Tolkien, a man who hated rings so much he killed a midget just to get rid of his. In a volcano. So right off the bat, bam, venue. A free venue. I'm pretty sure they can't charge you to have the ceremony beside a boiling cauldron of heat and doom.
And rings are a pain, too. Easy to lose, symbolic only, and if you need a symbol, go full retard. Push your Ringbearer into the volcano. It says you are so committed you will kill for your spouse, and it builds a hell of a lot more trust than falling into each other's arms.
This part is for Jen only, so Phil, stop reading. I have a gun, Phil; don't let me catch your eyes south of this line.
Jen: Phil is a nerd. This gives you numerous ways to destroy his morale and sanity. I'll just mention one, but it's a doozy. Check out this website: http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
Hook a laptop up to the sound system, and when the "Jen do you take this man..." bit arrives, push the button. Say yes after, obviously, but have a camera ready. Phil will be the most traumatized he'll ever be at that moment, and you need a keepsake to show the kids the time you made daddy shit his pants.
Rings are overrated. I said it, and I'll say it again, goddammit. Just ask J.R.R. Tolkien, a man who hated rings so much he killed a midget just to get rid of his. In a volcano. So right off the bat, bam, venue. A free venue. I'm pretty sure they can't charge you to have the ceremony beside a boiling cauldron of heat and doom.
And rings are a pain, too. Easy to lose, symbolic only, and if you need a symbol, go full retard. Push your Ringbearer into the volcano. It says you are so committed you will kill for your spouse, and it builds a hell of a lot more trust than falling into each other's arms.
This part is for Jen only, so Phil, stop reading. I have a gun, Phil; don't let me catch your eyes south of this line.
Jen: Phil is a nerd. This gives you numerous ways to destroy his morale and sanity. I'll just mention one, but it's a doozy. Check out this website: http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
Hook a laptop up to the sound system, and when the "Jen do you take this man..." bit arrives, push the button. Say yes after, obviously, but have a camera ready. Phil will be the most traumatized he'll ever be at that moment, and you need a keepsake to show the kids the time you made daddy shit his pants.
August 2, 2012
'At'll do, pig
I hope "'At'll do, pig", eventually replaces "I'm proud of you." I'm going to use it on my kids, and tell them no other parent does because they don't truly love their children.
Links!
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/pigs - Swine!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czKq9H0tSCo
Extended Cut DLC Hidden Refusal Ending
http://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2012/07/human-immortality-could-be-possible-by-2045-say-russian-scientists.html - Given immortality, I would immediately turn my thoughts to destroying humanity.
Eal sent some dispatches:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0 - "He looked at it, and to him it explained the stars."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Honw9i_m9hI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qzo4rZxF3x4
July 28, 2012
July 21, 2012
I'm going to ruin your day
Because I can.
Dark Knight Rises Review
spoilerspoilerspoilerspoilerspoilers
I'm gonna agree with this guy: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/07/the-dark-knight-rises-and-falls/260091/
So if you don't feel like reading this review, you can read his.
I love Batman as much as anyone, and for anyone who loves Batman, The Dark Knight was the closest thing we'll get to a religious experience unless Jesus returns to fight crime. It took a weird, kinda goofy premise and made the audience believe in it. It made Batman sell his soul to save his city. And it allowed Rises to become whatever it wanted; with Batman as the undisputed ruler of Gotham, the mob locked away, and one of the deadliest villains, Rises could have taken the Batman trilogy and done to it what Dark Knight did to the Joker: made it completely, terrifyingly real.
It didn't. That's not to say it was a bad movie; it's more like Return of the Jedi. No matter how much awesome there is in that last fight with Vader, it still ends with teddy bears taking down a legion of the deadliest troops in the universe.
And that fits, because Rises was too wedded to the happy ending. It begins with the same bleak tone Knight ended on, only worse; Batman and Gordon are shells, hollowed out by the false victory they bought with Dent's grave. The war against crime is over, and all seems well in Gotham. Bane disrupts that. He takes control of the city with calculating, deadly assurance, and disposes of Batman as if he were a kid on Halloween. He is determined to destroy Gotham, as his mentor, Ras al Ghul, intended.
Then he doesn't. That's the second half of the movie. Bane dicks around, waiting for a bomb to explode, because fuck Bruce Wayne, that's why. Bane plans to die in the explosion, because fuck plans, too. And that's how the movie feels - the first half is tight, tense, and deliberately parallels the type of schemes that made Joker so dangerous. But it stops and waits so Batman can make a jump that was possible for a child but no one else. This, and some other plot holes (Bane falls victim to the "didn't hear the incredibly noisy thing sneak up on me" bit) take away from the movie, and there's no reason for them.
The second half could have kept afloat if Bane was interesting. He's not. He has a weird, squeaky British accent, and he talks all the fucking time, about nothing. There's a last-minute villain switcheroo as well, that serves no purpose other than to pay homage to the comics.
Batman works for the first half, mirroring the cocky return from Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, then falls flat. Rather than changing or developing after his failure, Batman just needed more push-ups. Catwoman is the most interesting, but she, too, plays the waiting game for the second half.
The rest of the characters are sidelined, reduced to saving the day because Batman can't be everywhere. Alfred gets it the roughest: he cries a little, tries to talk Bruce out of Batmanning again, then disappears until the end, so he can cry on Bruce's fake grave (which brings up an interesting point: there was no reason for Bruce to fake his death, so why did he?). The guy who played just as crucial a role as Ras and the Joker in forming Batman is cut out so we can watch Batman learn to believe in himself again. By doing push-ups.
Rises starts awesome and ends with a thud. The questions inspired by the beginning - why are Batman and Gordon so dispirited? Why is Bane determined to fulfill Ras al Ghul's plan, and how did he take control of the League? What's Catwoman's story? - aren't answered, but are replaced with more frustrating ones by the end - Why do the convicts at Blackgate, who resisted the Joker's attempt to make them monsters, give in to Bane so easily? Why did Ras banish Bane? Why does Talia, whom we've never heard from before, give a shit about her dad, who abandoned her (so much so that she's willing to die to fulfill his mission)?
Rises had big shoes to fill and didn't. It had a lot of opportunities to mess with the audiences head and gave that up after Batman got tossed in stupid prison (seriously, there are no guards, and the wall is like twenty feet high with plenty of handholds). I can't say don't go see it - no one would listen, not even me - but let me know how ye like it.
AND
since no review is truly complete without the uppity reviewer telling the reader how he would have done things, and oh, it would be totally awesome, shit yeah, here's what I'd have done.
Keep everything the same until the prison. Once Wayne is thrown inside, switch to Gotham. Drop the nuke angle, because it's dumb. Instead, make Bane's goal to fracture Gotham from the nation, spread anarchy and establish regional control by warlords, presided over by the League of Shadows. Life in Gotham under this kind of rule: the strong survive, thrive, the weak are left out, but a twisted "justice" system is set up (and leave out Scarecrow; the guy who made his money torturing the inmates now running things would not get a happy end). Gordon and Blake form a resistance, but are hunted; a special ops group tries to smuggle them out of the city, but only Blake makes it. Gordon is sentenced to "exile" and drops through the ice.
Blake follows Bane's trail to the prison, finds Bruce dead. One of the other prisoners (Alfred, why not throw him in there too) repeats Bruce's words from earlier in the film: "Anyone could be Batman". Blake returns to Gotham, and with Alfred and Fox's help dons the cowl. And brings a motherfucking war to Gotham city, by reminding them who the night belongs to.
Late Facts: Keep in mind I'm disappointed in the movie, but there's no way I could have come up with the awesomeness Nolan did. I'm putting my thoughts out on what did occur, and what makes sense to me given the setup of the movie's first half.
Dark Knight Rises Review
spoilerspoilerspoilerspoilerspoilers
I'm gonna agree with this guy: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/07/the-dark-knight-rises-and-falls/260091/
So if you don't feel like reading this review, you can read his.
I love Batman as much as anyone, and for anyone who loves Batman, The Dark Knight was the closest thing we'll get to a religious experience unless Jesus returns to fight crime. It took a weird, kinda goofy premise and made the audience believe in it. It made Batman sell his soul to save his city. And it allowed Rises to become whatever it wanted; with Batman as the undisputed ruler of Gotham, the mob locked away, and one of the deadliest villains, Rises could have taken the Batman trilogy and done to it what Dark Knight did to the Joker: made it completely, terrifyingly real.
It didn't. That's not to say it was a bad movie; it's more like Return of the Jedi. No matter how much awesome there is in that last fight with Vader, it still ends with teddy bears taking down a legion of the deadliest troops in the universe.
And that fits, because Rises was too wedded to the happy ending. It begins with the same bleak tone Knight ended on, only worse; Batman and Gordon are shells, hollowed out by the false victory they bought with Dent's grave. The war against crime is over, and all seems well in Gotham. Bane disrupts that. He takes control of the city with calculating, deadly assurance, and disposes of Batman as if he were a kid on Halloween. He is determined to destroy Gotham, as his mentor, Ras al Ghul, intended.
Then he doesn't. That's the second half of the movie. Bane dicks around, waiting for a bomb to explode, because fuck Bruce Wayne, that's why. Bane plans to die in the explosion, because fuck plans, too. And that's how the movie feels - the first half is tight, tense, and deliberately parallels the type of schemes that made Joker so dangerous. But it stops and waits so Batman can make a jump that was possible for a child but no one else. This, and some other plot holes (Bane falls victim to the "didn't hear the incredibly noisy thing sneak up on me" bit) take away from the movie, and there's no reason for them.
The second half could have kept afloat if Bane was interesting. He's not. He has a weird, squeaky British accent, and he talks all the fucking time, about nothing. There's a last-minute villain switcheroo as well, that serves no purpose other than to pay homage to the comics.
Batman works for the first half, mirroring the cocky return from Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, then falls flat. Rather than changing or developing after his failure, Batman just needed more push-ups. Catwoman is the most interesting, but she, too, plays the waiting game for the second half.
The rest of the characters are sidelined, reduced to saving the day because Batman can't be everywhere. Alfred gets it the roughest: he cries a little, tries to talk Bruce out of Batmanning again, then disappears until the end, so he can cry on Bruce's fake grave (which brings up an interesting point: there was no reason for Bruce to fake his death, so why did he?). The guy who played just as crucial a role as Ras and the Joker in forming Batman is cut out so we can watch Batman learn to believe in himself again. By doing push-ups.
Rises starts awesome and ends with a thud. The questions inspired by the beginning - why are Batman and Gordon so dispirited? Why is Bane determined to fulfill Ras al Ghul's plan, and how did he take control of the League? What's Catwoman's story? - aren't answered, but are replaced with more frustrating ones by the end - Why do the convicts at Blackgate, who resisted the Joker's attempt to make them monsters, give in to Bane so easily? Why did Ras banish Bane? Why does Talia, whom we've never heard from before, give a shit about her dad, who abandoned her (so much so that she's willing to die to fulfill his mission)?
Rises had big shoes to fill and didn't. It had a lot of opportunities to mess with the audiences head and gave that up after Batman got tossed in stupid prison (seriously, there are no guards, and the wall is like twenty feet high with plenty of handholds). I can't say don't go see it - no one would listen, not even me - but let me know how ye like it.
AND
since no review is truly complete without the uppity reviewer telling the reader how he would have done things, and oh, it would be totally awesome, shit yeah, here's what I'd have done.
Keep everything the same until the prison. Once Wayne is thrown inside, switch to Gotham. Drop the nuke angle, because it's dumb. Instead, make Bane's goal to fracture Gotham from the nation, spread anarchy and establish regional control by warlords, presided over by the League of Shadows. Life in Gotham under this kind of rule: the strong survive, thrive, the weak are left out, but a twisted "justice" system is set up (and leave out Scarecrow; the guy who made his money torturing the inmates now running things would not get a happy end). Gordon and Blake form a resistance, but are hunted; a special ops group tries to smuggle them out of the city, but only Blake makes it. Gordon is sentenced to "exile" and drops through the ice.
Blake follows Bane's trail to the prison, finds Bruce dead. One of the other prisoners (Alfred, why not throw him in there too) repeats Bruce's words from earlier in the film: "Anyone could be Batman". Blake returns to Gotham, and with Alfred and Fox's help dons the cowl. And brings a motherfucking war to Gotham city, by reminding them who the night belongs to.
Late Facts: Keep in mind I'm disappointed in the movie, but there's no way I could have come up with the awesomeness Nolan did. I'm putting my thoughts out on what did occur, and what makes sense to me given the setup of the movie's first half.
July 20, 2012
July 14, 2012
July 7, 2012
June 28, 2012
Lacy, gently wafting curtains
My mic is a bit fucked, so the sound is scratchy in places. Fixed
(probably) by next week. I'm not actually going to fix it, I'm just
going to avoid fucking it up more. That counts.
June 21, 2012
June 16, 2012
Pay no attention to the bear behind the curtain
I changed jobs (sort of), and recording the podcast has changed. I'm trying to make it more streamlined, so I can say "I need this-this, that, done," rather than thinking up sixty things for the News, and no rants. Meanwhile, actually doing the podcast suffers a bit. I've set it up so I record the whole thing Wednesdays, but I'm still getting used to this schedule, so if my brain forgets and decides to dick around all day, nothing gets done. I'll have a story up later today, and podcastin' will resume next week, and in the meantime I wanted to talk to you about something important.
Superman
Superman has bugged me for a while. Batman knows all kinds of crazy bullshit ways to take down thugs. He can freeze 'em, gas 'em, karate-murder them or hit them with his car.
Superman can punch. He can't even punch well. All he has are haymakers, and he treats every enemy like a clumsy fat guy who can't help but wander into Superman's awkward thrusts. Worse, he's basically god and he has no experience being such; God, at least, knew how to make the cosmos before he started messing with the Jews. Which is, to be fair, kind of like applying to be a kindergarten teacher when your only experience is programming, but at least he had some experience. Superman knows how to farm. He can only stop crime that is right in front of him, because he never took Batman's Patented Detective Course. He probably murders half the purse-snatchers he stops, because he has the power of the sun and no concept of control. At least if he'd signed up for the Y karate class he might've learned not to put his fist through other people's chests.
Superman
Superman has bugged me for a while. Batman knows all kinds of crazy bullshit ways to take down thugs. He can freeze 'em, gas 'em, karate-murder them or hit them with his car.
Superman can punch. He can't even punch well. All he has are haymakers, and he treats every enemy like a clumsy fat guy who can't help but wander into Superman's awkward thrusts. Worse, he's basically god and he has no experience being such; God, at least, knew how to make the cosmos before he started messing with the Jews. Which is, to be fair, kind of like applying to be a kindergarten teacher when your only experience is programming, but at least he had some experience. Superman knows how to farm. He can only stop crime that is right in front of him, because he never took Batman's Patented Detective Course. He probably murders half the purse-snatchers he stops, because he has the power of the sun and no concept of control. At least if he'd signed up for the Y karate class he might've learned not to put his fist through other people's chests.
June 6, 2012
May 12, 2012
May 10, 2012
May 4, 2012
April 26, 2012
April 20, 2012
Time travel makes me right
I is not a clever man, so I lied. I can't do two shows a week (trying somehow almost prevented me from doing one) so it's back to the old format. The problem is a combination of music (I had twenty songs lined up, listened to them again, and hated all of them; end your songs early! You have a great tune, but ten minutes is too fucking long!) Also, Bill Summerson is dead and recuperating in Florida. He should be back in a week or two.
April 13, 2012
I is not a clever man
Second try, pretty sure I don't have any spelling errors. Ye can enbiggen the text below, make it full-screen and fanciful.
April 12, 2012
April 9, 2012
April 5, 2012
March 14, 2012
Sometimes I get uppity
There are probably a few ME3 spoilers in the podcast. I try to keep it to a minimum.
March 7, 2012
God burns down bars for the insurance
I had a really awkward moment tonight - the kind that only occurs in your head, but seems no less weird for that - when I realized John McCain has a hot wife. I would nail Cindy McCain. I didn't know anything about his wife prior to this, and didn't expect to find her attractive - I assumed McCain's wife looked like him, but with long hair. She does not.
The rant might be a little weird. I am running low on sleep, and am disturbed by what I read. I want to be supportive to people who face prejudices they shouldn't have to - especially kids. I invited people going through gay-bashing and general hatred to leave comments or email me, and I will try to be supportive, but I know it sounds sketchy as hell. I wouldn't trust random internet guy, either. But find someone who you can commiserate with. The sort of friend who will support you, and help you, no matter what, is something everyone should have.
And keep trying to make the world a better place.
The rant might be a little weird. I am running low on sleep, and am disturbed by what I read. I want to be supportive to people who face prejudices they shouldn't have to - especially kids. I invited people going through gay-bashing and general hatred to leave comments or email me, and I will try to be supportive, but I know it sounds sketchy as hell. I wouldn't trust random internet guy, either. But find someone who you can commiserate with. The sort of friend who will support you, and help you, no matter what, is something everyone should have.
And keep trying to make the world a better place.
February 29, 2012
February 22, 2012
I'll Devito Your Schwarzenegger
So when I said, last week, that we are overconcerned with image, this is what I meant: that we won't go into Syria, that we won't try to do anything with Syria, because there's no reason for us to. What we will do is feign concern because that is the image we want to project, the story we want told; we are big daddy democracy and we want what's best for everyone. When someone like Manning or the pissing troops disrupt that, people get upset. And situations like the marine being demoted for killing innocents require very special image manipulation.
February 16, 2012
February 9, 2012
January 31, 2012
Nerditry Within
Seriously. Dawg. I spend a few minutes making fun of Ron Paul, and then it's all about nerd bullshit. Awesome nerd bullshit, but I would think so.
January 7, 2012
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